::mytears::

 ~Teardrops slowly fall from my eyes as I look to the sky, and I question how come life keeps passing me right on by.  I just wonder why I can't escape, is this my fate?  To always be unhappy and how much longer must I wait...

 ~Have you ever lived my life, have you ever spent one minute in my shoes?  If you haven't, then tell me why you judge me like you do.

I'm not saying I have nothing.  I'm not saying I'm gone completely.  It's just sometimes it's all a bit too much to handle.  Sometimes I feel like it's too much.  I'm not going to do anything stupid because I know it will get better, it has to right?  Otherwise there wouldn't be anyone who would live past their teenage years.  But for now, just for now, it hurts. ~ You know sometimes, like when someone dies, and you're sad, and it's ok to be sad?  But then there are times when you're supposed to be happy but you're sad anyway...and those times are even worse than the times when you're supposed to be sad. ~ I just don't feel like I know myself very well right now, so how can I be sure about anything?  Most of the time I feel so awkward, you know, like I don't belong in my own skin, I get frustrated at everything, I could just scream and there's no reason for it, I just hate myself. ~ Have you ever felt so alone and nothing makes sense?  Well that's how I feel right now...I feel like I'm facing everything myself, with nothing but tears and a fake smile... ~ Just once I want someone to look at me right away and think I was beautiful.  Not after they get to know me, or after they see inside my soul, just me.  I want to walk in a room and light up, not blend. ~ I know God wouldn't give me anything I can't handle, I just wish he didn't trust me so much.